


Overwhelming

by TrickyVicky3



Category: The Halcyon (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, fluff which turns into angst, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 05:40:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9804884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrickyVicky3/pseuds/TrickyVicky3
Summary: -Toby overwhelms him.





	

-

Toby's overwhelming.

\---

At first it was just seeing him, watching him trail his brother in his ill-fitting suits, eyes never settling in one place, hands always nervously playing with his signet ring.

His wardrobe, his hair, his actions, they were a creation of silence, an act to blend in and keep attention off of him and direct it onto his brother.

It was at best a design of unimportance, but to Adil Toby stood out in the opposite way, and he found himself watching when it wasn't aporopriate, which was practically always.

It overwhelmed him.

\---

Then it was their conversations; Toby was always too passionate, too worked up or upset or angry. He was always too in love with the cause, too excited with his latest book, with the latest gossip.

Everytime he spoke fires burned in his eyes and his voice rose strong, as his hands flailed in exclamation, a subconcious action that added to the flames.

It overwhelmed him.

\----

Next came the flirting. Or well, Adil would class it as flirting, with Toby he could never be too sure what the sly glances, the small grins and the blushes all meant.

He was sure Toby felt it too, the thrumming of tension between them, the nervous energy that spiked during the lingering touches and the fleeting eye-contact.

He felt it whenever Toby spoke, whenever he made him laugh, when they shared countless conversations and jokes despite the bar separating them.

It overwhelmed him.

\---

Oh but Toby's kisses. Adil couldn't get enough, each time whenToby would frame his face with his hands and draw him in like a dying man acting out a last request, was heaven.

Toby held him like it would be the last time, every time. He stroked his thumbs up Adil's cheekbones repetatively as their lips danced together and their bodies pressed inwards, yearning for contact.

Toby kissed like he lived, passionately, and Adil found himself becoming addicted to the hands on his face, in his hair, around the back of his neck, claiming him, grounding him.

It overwhelmed him.

\---

Then he lost him. 

When Mr D'Aberville threatened him he convinced himself it would be okay, maybe Toby would never find out, and that would hurt him yes but it would leave Toby out of it.

Maybe even if Toby did find out it would still be okay, Adil's total betrayal wouldn't kill him inside, he'd be forgiven, they'd work it out, and it would all be alright.

Foolishness, his mother would call it. 

Adil's voice breaks as he tells Toby he loves him, and he doesn't even care, he just needs Toby to know. Toby, who though Adil was using him, Toby who deserved so much better.

He needs him to know how much he means to Adil, how he's the best part of his day. His heart shatters in his chest as Toby walks away, as their life together falls apart before his very eyes.

If he can just get Toby to listen to him then maybe, just maybe he can salvage this. As it turns out, he can't. 

He's barely holding it together as the guilt he's been feeling finally consumes him and tears threaten to spill as Toby shuts him down.

Seeing Toby's anger directed at him hurts in the worst way possible, when Toby tells him he trusted him, the past tense hurts in a way that nothing could compare to.

He tries one last ditch effort to get Toby to listen to him, but it's too late. He will never get to touch Toby again, never hold him or kiss him or -

He stops himself from dwelling further, knowing the pain will be too much.

As the door closes Adil falls against it, the tears that were threatening to spill finally flow down his face as he struggles for breath, hands fumbling to undo his collar as his clothes feels too tight against his straining chest.

He feels empty and lost, and he is. He's lost Toby. The very thing he was scared of in the first place.

It hurts.

And the grief?

It overwhelms him.

-

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is beautiful and so are you <3


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